Friday, November 19, 2010

Get Your Eagle On Girl

Drop down and get your eagle on girl
From the girls with skinny waists to girls heavy set
Come on
Flap your wings
From the girls got it good livin' in the suburbs
Come on
Flap your wings
To the ones in the ghetto with their hands on their curves
Come on
Flap your wings
Flap your wings

This is the song that I was singing to myself as a 60 year old lady in leopard print panties and a red bra was scrubbing the skin off of my entire body, literally. I definitely didn't have as classy an outfit as she, I had nothing, zilch. I found myself spending a Thursday night lying on a hot pink table, with my best friend in Korea, Dana,on a lime green table beside of me..each of us, naked... bright red... dawning green cucumber masks... with two pairs of hands scrubbing away at our bodies.

Not a piece of skin was missed.. although now some is missing.

How did this happen you may be wondering? It all began with a, "Hey Dana, let's go get a body scrub at the Sauna. My feet looked absolutely disgusting when I got out of the shower today!" She agreed that she could use some T.L.C. as well, so we planned a date! And a date it was! HaHa

First we went into the sauna (I believe I have posted about this before). If not, here is a brief run down. There is a men's sauna and a women's, although young children are welcome to go to either. You pay 5,000Won (about $4USD). Go to the locker room, change into your birthday suit and head to the showers. First you shower a couple of times, and then you head to the pools where the vagina soups are made! There are piping hot pools, super cold pools, medium hot pools, massage pools, and sauna rooms. And if you're lucky, the sauna you go to will have a body scrubbing room!!

The body scrub was 20,000Won (about $18USD), we saw this on the sign. There were two ladies and two tables, they spoke ZERO English! They were busy cleaning the room when we first arrived, and one of the ladies was trying to tell us to come back later.. but we wanted to know what time.. she didn't want to deal with it, so she sprayed us with (cold) water and we ran. Most of the time if you stand bare naked in a sauna and look really confused someone will come to help you, so we did just that for a couple of minutes (at a distance from the cold water sprayer), the other non-water spraying lady finally came up to us and took our money and motioned us to go sit in the pools. So we did just that and finally they came and got us!

The journey begins, we're already naked and a bit pruney.. the perfect start! I had already called the lady with the leopard panties because I thought she had to have sass and a good personality (two of the most important things to me when I have someone scrub my skin off.. although this was my first time), so I chose her table. We both layed down, looked over at each other to wish each other good luck with a couple of giggles, and then turn our attention toward our scrubbers. Whenever we said anything in English my lady would make fun of us and mimick us and we would all just laugh. I tried to talk to her as best I could with the little Korean I know (I figured she should know a little bit about me if we were going to become so close in the next hour). They started off by pouring buckets of hot water on us and lathering us with some sort of soap. Then, she gave me a head massage and did a crazy massage on my face that ended up making my cheeks feel numb. Then, she got a bowl of goodness, and I could smell the cucumber from a couple of feet away! I assume she is only going to put it on my eyes, but she puts it all over my face.. and I think she was telling me to shut up by putting them over my mouth too! What a nice lady :)

Then the scrubbing commenced, she scrubbed each and every part of my body at least 5 times, and each time it became a little more painful. The scrubbers felt like absolute brillo pads, insane abrasion! She started at my feet and ended at my neck, including everything imbetween. Then, she said something to me in Korean, I put my hands up in the air like I have no clue what you want me to do, so she slaps my butt and twists my leg... aaah, ok you want me on my side, ok a new angle I gotcha! So I do, and then she lifts one leg up and bends my knee (none of this in a very nice and soothing way.. it's Korea, I expected nothing less from this dear Ajuma :) ).. this would be why I had the 'Get your eagle on girl' song in my head!! As she scrubs my inner thighs I begin to feel I know her on a different level now. Not only is she totally ok with scrubbing my inner thighs, she is totally ok with my foot sinking into her pudgy fluffy belly! Once both sides were done, she flipped me over onto my stomach, I think my favorite body part to be scrubbed was my butt. Now you know alll about me, and so does she!!

Anyways, she ended up taking my mask off of me, telling me I was super dirty.. especially my hands.. because I had so much skin that she had rubbed off of me on the table.. which I don't think is my fault!! haha. She lathered me with soap and washed me, gave me a light massage, put oil all over me and slapped the side of my butt to tell me to leave. We (mainly me) giggled, bowed, and then she blew me a kiss goodbye.. she was one cheeky lady and I loved her!

I know this situation would be rather disturbing to most Americans, but to Koreans (even the Christian ones) this is more than normal. I now consider myself a 'Korean American'.. I believe I've earned my stripes :)

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