Thursday, December 8, 2011

Sleeping with a Monk

Yup! You read it right. I, Paula Ferguson, slept with a monk. Well... maybe I'm stretching the truth a bit. But I had to get you to read this somehow, didn't I?!

Here's what went down. Chelsea, Faith and I made our way to Haeinsa temple. One of the most famous temples in Korea. Famous for beauty, famous for the mountain it rests on, famous for housing the most important monks of Korea, famous for the Head Monk of Korea living there, and famous for the 13th century Tripitaka wooden printing blocks that are housed there.

Basically this place is a holy rock festival of ambient goodness! It was awesome, beautiful, inspiring and tranquil... well, when the hundreds of Korean tourists filtered out it was.

So here we are, 3 Korean city girls, dropped off in the middle of the woods... wearing simple-comfy temple clothes, struggling every 10 minutes to put our shoes on or take them off and put them in a perfectly anal straight line.

After all of the foreigners got scolded for our messy shoes sitting outside of the temple stay practice room, and the Koreans got told their shoe line up was the Japanese way... we became very careful... yet some still got scolded later on.. awk-ward! The shoe Nazis were always lurking around the temple apparently.

We were divided into 2 groups, 6 Koreans in one group with their special monk, and 8 foreigners with our own special English speaking monk.

When they first walked into our practice room, we were sitting on our mats, awaiting their arrival.. my first thought was, Geeze, they aren't even smiling, they're so quiet.. I bet any minute now they're going to break out into Monk-Ninja mode, and we're going to get BEAT UUUP!

False alarm. Not ninjas. One can hope.

First, our monk taught us how to do a proper full bow, and how to bow when you enter the chanting hall (one half bow, 3 full bows, one half bow). We did it, quite sloppily.. but we moved right on to the next thing...

Our monk was honestly terrified of us. SO terrified. He was very nervous at first, and couldn't quite portray what he was trying to.. struggling.. pulling the words out.. yanking them out.. about 7 minutes after struggling, he finally explains a meditation technique.. we think we totally understand him.

He gives us 5 minutes.

We meditate.

We finish.

He asked how many sets of numbers we got through.

One guy says 7, and I'm thinking. Ha. Haa. I did 8.5 sets!

Then Faith says "One. 5 minutes was the perfect amount of time to finish one set."

We all look at her, WHAT?! How slow are you?? But, it was us who did it wrong.

The monk. freaked. out. Realizing most all of us did it wrong, and didn't quite understand him. He started rambling about how we need a lot of clothes on, because tonight it will get to about 30 degrees, and we have some ceremonies outdoors to go to. Then he just leaves. Flustered.

So I stand up, and say, "Welp, I'm gonna go put all of the clothes I brought on." And everyone just sits. No one is going to go. I think they're crazy, because it has already started to be freezing cold outside, and our temple clothes aren't the warmest of things. But they weren't sure if he told us to go change or not, so they didn't want to get left behind.

Heck, I just didn't want to be cold. I HATE being cold. SO I left, and went to our room to change. I was in there for 2 minutes, when Chelsea and Faith ended up joining to put clothes on as well. One thing led to another, and we started taking pictures of ourselves in ridiculous poses in our super cool temple rags. And by the time we walked back up to the practice room.... there were no shoes out front... the light was off... no people... no one anywhere... no tourists... no monks... WHERE DID ALL OF THE PEOPLE GO?!?

I look at Chels.. head slightly lowered, angel eyes on, pouty face on... "Whoopsies" is all I could let out. "Hey! You guys can't blame me. You followed me! You could have stayed." ... Their only reaction, "OH MAN! OH MAN! Now what are we going to do. How could they not have told us?? He told us to put warm clothes on. We shouldn't have gone!" My reaction to their fluster.. "ha.. ha... ha.. this is pretty funny huh?" Silence. "We'll find them don't worry, hehe, sorry! Sorry guys, I swear that's what he told us to do!" I could tell that Chelsea was a bit angry/worried that we wouldn't find them. BUT we sure did find them. ALL of them were already sitting down and eating in the cafeteria area. But this wasn't a normal cafeteria...

... we walk in, and there is nothing but silence. No one tells us what to do, we definitely look like we're trouble makers. Sure to get kicked out of the temple for not following directions. How funny would that be though?! Hilarious! Well to me, Chelsea looks even more upset than before. Still, all I can think of is whoopsies!

We grab plates and go through the buffet style set-up, and sit down, there are about 50 people in there, a few are monks (who sit on their own side.. and also have their own separate entrance), our group is about half way finished eating.

We definitely didn't grab enough food.. worried because we heard you cannot waste ANYTHING at a temple (even though there wasn't any one ensuring this.. we thought there would be)... we didn't know if we were allowed to get seconds either. So we had a few hours before we could go to sleep and veg out on our snacks we bought at the market earlier in the day (lifesavers for sure!!).

Then, we went to the drum ceremony. It was pitch dark outside, really cold. And the drum ceremony was AWESOME! They do it 3 times a day, first one at 3:30AM!




Next, we walked over to the large chanting hall that houses the golden Buddhas. Here, we took part (well watched) in the chanting and bowing.. the monks and followers did most of it! I really shouldn't have taken this video, but it was such an interesting experience I just couldn't help it. I feel like I should be a spy or a journalist, I enjoyed sneaking it and almost getting in trouble SO MUCH!



The next part of our evening was the tea ceremony.. where we could ask lots of personal questions to our monk (who finally about 5 minutes into it, calmed down A LOT!).
We asked him if you had to be a virgin to be a monk (answer: When you are a monk, you cannot have sex. But if you become a monk after you've been married or have children, that's acceptable. You just can't be married when you're a monk). So it made me wonder if Buddhism accepts divorce, but I didn't ask it.
We also asked him why MOST of the followers in the chanting hall were all women and ajummas (old ladies).. where were the men (answer: .. and an honest answer at that.. he said that the men in Korea like to climb mountains and drink at night)?! Couldn't argue with that, I KNEW that was what he was going to say.
We asked how much he traveled (A LOT!), about the robes, why he has an IPHONE!!!, if they're allowed to use the internet (yes), why there were no nuns in the chanting hall (answer: they have their own.. separate but equal I suppose.. and so the monks aren't tempted.. it's best to have them separate)... and many many other questions!

Finally after way too much green tea at night, we went off to bed. We were EXHAUSTED, and lights out at 9PM was not early enough.. that's for sure!

Guess what?!? Wake-up was at 3AM!!!!!!! Paaaiiinnnffuullll, but we did it! First order of the day> drum ceremony, second order>chanting hall, next up>108 bows.

OH the bows, 108 of them. We listened to the English version of what each prostration was for (that sounds so dirty, I've never used that word before)... and the monk would slap his stick thingy every time we needed to bow, it was an experience!

Why 108 bows? Watch this:

I thought I was going to die, it was SO hot.. the ondol floor heating was on, and it was toasty&roasty! Holy moly, it was insane.. I kept trying to get Faith to open the window that was beside of her, because I felt like I was going to puke.. so did Chels, and almost everyone else in the room. I have to admit, after the first 50 bows, I started to lose my 'proper bowing techniques'.. I just didn't care, it was 4AM.. and I had just done 50 bows, what am I doing with my life. When will this torture be over.

THEN, there it is. I prostrated in gratitude to the sparkling rainbows. I can feel happy about continuing bowing.. then it gets a bit boring.. OH wait! Now I'm prostrating in repentance for having thought that only what I smelled was correct. OK, I'm going to make it. Almost finished. OH 108 bows, done, finished, success!

Everything we prostrated to:
    1. With sincere devotion, I take refuge in Shakyamuni Buddha.

    2. With sincere devotion, I take refuge in the Dharma.

    3. With sincere devotion, I take refuge in the Sangha.

    4. I prostrate in repentance for being ignorant of where I came from and unmindful of where I will go.

    5. I prostrate in repentance for being ignorant of my true self and correct situation, relationship, and function.

    6. I prostrate in repentance for having taken this body for granted.

    7. I prostrate in repentance for having neglected my original nature.

    8. I prostrate in repentance for having taken my ancestors for granted.

    9. I prostrate in repentance for having taken my parents for granted.

    10. I prostrate in repentance for having taken my relatives for granted.

    11. I prostrate in repentance for being unmindful of all those who have contributed to my learning and education.

    12. I prostrate in repentance for being unmindful of all those who have grown, prepared, and provided my nutrition.

    13. I prostrate in repentance for being unmindful of all those who have made and provided my clothing.

    14. I prostrate in repentance for being unmindful of all those who have built and provided my shelter.

    15. I prostrate in repentance for manipulating people for my own selfish needs.

    16. I prostrate in repentance for having ignored the effects of my misdeeds on others.

    17. I prostrate in repentance with complete devotion to eradicate Karma accumulated in the past, present, and the future.

    18. I prostrate in repentance to all those whom I have harmed through fits of anger.

    19. I prostrate in repentance to all those whom I have stung with hurtful words.

    20. I prostrate in repentance to all those whom I have harmed through arrogance.

    21. I prostrate in repentance to all those whom I have harmed through avarice.

    22. I prostrate in repentance to all those whom I have harmed through my jealous thoughts.

    23. I prostrate in repentance to all those whom I have scorched with the flames of my rage.

    24. I prostrate in repentance to all those whom I have harmed through attachment to my possessions.

    25. I prostrate in repentance to all those whom I have harmed through attachment to like-and-dislike mind.

    26. I prostrate in repentance to all those whom I have alienated through thought, word, and deed.

    27. I prostrate in repentance to all those whom I harmed through gossip, slander, and bad speech.

    28. I prostrate in repentance to all those whom I have looked down upon.

    29. I prostrate in repentance for my cowardly thoughts, words, and deeds.

    30. I prostrate in repentance for all my hypocritical deeds and lies.

    31. I prostrate in repentance for poisoning other beings through my mindless materialistic overconsumption.

    32. I prostrate in repentance to all sentient beings that I have harmed or killed for entertainment and pleasure.

    33. I prostrate in repentance for conceiving of this world only through the lens of my ego.

    34. I prostrate in repentance to all those I have harmed through attachment to my thinking.

    35. I prostrate in repentance to all those I have harmed through foolish or unnecessary speech.

    36. I prostrate in repentance to all those whom I have injured by engaging in relationships based on using each other.

    37. I prostrate in repentance for all thoughts, words, and deeds which create attachment.

    38. I prostrate in repentance for having thought that only what I saw was correct.

    39. I prostrate in repentance for having thought that only what I heard was correct.

    40. I prostrate in repentance for having thought that only what I smelled was correct.

    41. I prostrate in repentance for having thought that only what I tasted was correct.

    42. I prostrate in repentance for having thought that only what I felt was correct.

    43. I prostrate in repentance for every action born from I-my-me mind.

    44. I prostrate in repentance for not seeing clearly my true interconnectedness to all forms of life.

    45. I prostrate in repentance for having disregarded our only home, Earth.

    46. I prostrate in repentance for selfishly polluting the air.

    47. I prostrate in repentance for selfishly polluting the rivers and lakes.

    48. I prostrate in repentance for selfishly polluting the mountains and the oceans.

    49. I prostrate in repentance for selfishly destroying the flowers and trees.

    50. I prostrate in repentance for a lifestyle built on the suffering of other forms of life.

    51. I prostrate in repentance for discriminating between the rich and poor in my choice of relations.

    52. I prostrate in repentance for discriminating between high and low, the superior and the inferior.

    53. I prostrate in repentance for discriminating between "good" and "bad."

    54. I prostrate in repentance for seeing this world based on absolute "right" or "wrong."

    55. I prostrate in repentance for my lack of compassion for the sick or grieving.

    56. I prostrate in repentance for my lack of compassion for those suffering from depression.

    57. I prostrate in repentance for my lack of compassion for the poor and needy.

    58. I prostrate in repentance for my lack of compassion for those who are stubborn or hard to work with.

    59. I prostrate in repentance for my lack of compassion for the lonely, and those trapped by addiction.

    60. I prostrate in repentance for my lack of compassion for those in trouble with the law.

    61. I prostrate in gratitude for having come to take refuge in the Buddha.

    62. I prostrate in gratitude for having come to take refuge in the Dharma.

    63. I prostrate in gratitude for having come to take refuge in the Sangha.

    64. I prostrate in gratitude for coming to realize that all beings are interconnected as one.

    65. I prostrate in gratitude for coming to realize that all beings can communicate and sympathize with one another.

    66. I prostrate in gratitude for coming to realize that all beings live in accordance with the Universal Law.

    67. I prostrate in gratitude for coming to realize that all beings have the same True Nature.

    68. I prostrate in gratitude for coming to see the beauty of this world.

    69. I prostrate in gratitude for coming to know the wonders of all life forms.

    70. I prostrate in gratitude for coming to hear the pure beauty of the birds' singing.

    71. I prostrate in gratitude for coming to know the spiritual sound of the wind.

    72. I prostrate in gratitude for coming to hear the bubbling music of the streams.

    73. I prostrate in gratitude for coming to feel the energy of new life in Spring.

    74. I prostrate in gratitude for coming to see the beauty of a shimmering rainbow.

    75. I prostrate in gratitude for coming to see that true peace of mind comes from being in harmony with nature.

    76. I prostrate in gratitude for coming to see that nature is Universal Law.

    77. I prostrate in gratitude for coming to see that nature is our Great Teacher.

    78. I prostrate in gratitude for coming to see that compassion is the greatest blessing of all.

    79. I prostrate in gratitude for coming to see that a heart filled with hatred and resentment is the greatest misfortune of all.

    80. I prostrate in gratitude for coming to see that selfless love is the greatest power of all.

    81. I prostrate as a vow to live in the embrace of the Buddha.

    82. I prostrate as a vow to live in accordance with the Dharma.

    83. I prostrate as a vow to follow the teachings of the Sangha.

    84. I prostrate as a vow to refrain from greed.

    85. I prostrate as a vow to refrain from anger.

    86. I prostrate as a vow to refrain from arrogance.

    87. I prostrate as a vow to refrain from jealousy.

    88. I prostrate as a vow to refrain from saying hurtful things.

    89. I prostrate as a vow to refrain from hypocritical speech.

    90. I prostrate as a vow to refrain from slandering.

    91. I prostrate as a vow to refrain from looking down on others.

    92. I prostrate as a vow to refrain from resenting others.

    93. I prostrate as a vow to be humble in all that I do.

    94. I prostrate as a vow to do my best in all my endeavors.

    95. I prostrate as a vow to be honest in everything I do.

    96. I prostrate as a vow to be positive in everything I do.

    97. I prostrate as a vow to live with a compassionate heart.

    98. I prostrate as a vow to always have a bright and happy heart.

    99. I prostrate as a prayer so that all beings may live in peace.

    100. I prostrate as a prayer for an end to all wars.

    101. I prostrate as a prayer for an end to poverty.

    102. I prostrate as a prayer for an end to all diseases.

    103. I prostrate as a vow to always practice the disciplines of the Bodhisattva.

    104. I prostrate as a vow to cultivate transcendental wisdom.

    105. I prostrate as a vow to never regress in practice.

    106. I prostrate as a vow to meet eminent teachers.

    107. I prostrate as a vow to meet the Buddhas who always appear in this world, from moment to moment.

    108. I prostrate as a vow to transfer all merits accumulated through compassionate action to all beings in the ten directions.

YAY, break time.. for about 10 minutes we got to take a mini-nap.. OF COURSE I wake myself up on my first snore.. hehehe. The whole time I was just praying we'd get to go eat soon.. but NOPE....

...it was meditation time. The most painful time of the trip. I couldn't believe it, I thought it was going to be SO easy, and I was going to be SOO good at it. But trying to sit half lotus style for 15 minutes (well.. to be honest, it ended up being simply cross-legged by the end of it).. my legs were IN PAIN.. I'm not that flexible obviously! I just couldn't handle it, I started freaking out a bit. I was so tired and hungry, I couldn't do the correct counting.. I WANT TO SLEEP! I WANT TO EAT! I want to do anything but this. I peak a lot, I couldn't help it, I wanted to see if anyone else was in as much pain as me. I quietly stretch out my legs, luckily Faith is doing it as well beside me. When the monk got up to check our posture and our 'meditation hands'.. I perked up, but when he sat back down and closed his eyes... I became a bad student, AGAIN. Of course!

FINALLY, breakfast time. I have been starving since I got here, I'm not sure why.. we've been munching like crazy. It's tiring being a monk and being so quiet, I'm not used to so much effort (being quiet that is).

We went and had a silent breakfast, it was yummy, of course! And vegetarian!

Next up, we went on a tour of the temple with our monk. It was extremely informative, and we were still the only people at the temple, besides the other followers who had arrived at the temple at 3AM for the ceremonies! We also went to see the Tripitaka that Haeinsa is so famous for. Haeinsa has been burnt down about 7 times over history, but they've always managed to save the Tripitaka that are from the 13th century!! AWESOME!

We had a mini-tea ceremony with the lady who runs the program, asked her a few questions, told her how much we enjoyed the temple stay. She gave us presents. We wandered around and took some pictures, then off we went.. back to our normal city girl lives!

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